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Re: US Threat -IV(b)
LOL,
However, I thought our seasons were:
a. preparing for winter
b. winter
c. recovering from winter
Cheers!
Ian Edwards wrote:
>
> Actually, there are only two seasons in C eh N eh D eh:
> (a) winter: 10 months long (10 long months?)
> (b) road construction
>
> If posted to the Prairies (you must have graduated towards the bottom of
> your class) then remember to retort about the winter, "ah yes, but it's
> a dry cold" (that doesn't work near the Great Lakes, cold IS Cold
> therein). And know that a block heater is to warm the engine block of
> you car, not a firearm for self defence in a govenment built apartment
> complex. If you live in British Columbia, then never give anyone the
> suspicion that you were other than born in B.C. (or be accused of
> stealing their jobs) and rally against your new municipal govenment from
> owning any snow clearing equipment - snow doesn't officially exist in
> Lotus Land. Oh, well, your U.S. agent's expense account won't allow you
> enough to live in B.C. anyways (where even fast food servers are
> unionized).
>
> I'm reminded of the US Army DIs first words to his squad of reecruits:
>
> "When ah yells 'foam up' alla wanna see is a cloud a dust, a streak of
> sh-at and you'all foah deep 'n standin tall!"
> So,
> When coming North one must learn to never, never say you'all (or even
> worse: y'all.). Except in jest. But you knew that, at least.
>
> Don't say how wonderful is CBC-TV programming. That's a dead giveaway
> regardless of the political stripe you are posing. But it's OK to praise
> CBC-Radio (English only) if you are posing as a liberal/Liberal.
>
> It's OK to mangle the pronunciation of Jean Cretien's name, we all do it
> badly ourselves (even Jean Cretien can't pronounce his own name
> properly, or string more than two words together without serious error).
>
> And if you complain about Toronto, unless you reside in Toronto, then
> you will ingratiate yourself with 90% of the Canadian population. If you
> are posted to Big TO, then you must make references similar to "why we
> have more people living in Trawna than they have in all the Prairie
> provinces" (Maritines, B.C....) combined, as soon as introduced to
> visitors, especially if you are employed in the hospitality industry (an
> oxymoron in Toronto: "hospitality?", yeah, right!).
>
> If you live in Manitoba or further west, then "the East" starts at the
> Manitoba/Ontario border and the Quebec City/Windsor corridor is not
> considered to be Central Canada regardless of where it really shows on a
> Cana'jun map. If you reside in Toronto, then "west" means towards London
> Ontario, and Timmons is just beyond where the world drops off (nowhere
> beyond Huntsville really exists - just vague rumours).
>
> Note I say "resides" in Toronto; as I'm from the West I believe no one
> really "lives" in Toronto. Take the hate people from Montana feel for
> Washington and Noo Yawk Siddy and multiply it threefold.
>
> Learn quickly to whine and complain about both Canada and the U.S. and
> you will never be suspected as an Amuric'n.
>
> dave wrote:
> >
> > More rules for US agents.
> > a) Remember to order Crown Royal, not Jack Daniels.
> > b) no skidoos in summer.
> > c) have fellow agent stand-by for CPR at first gasoline stop (yes that is 65
> > cents for almost 1 quart)
> >
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